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21 Contradictory Things Overheard in the Office While Picking Your March Madness Bracket


The NCAA Tournament is here, which means the eyes of sports fans and non-sports fans alike will turn to the basketball court. Well, actually, they’ll turn to empty brackets that we try to fill in.

The truth is no one is any more of an expert than anyone else, so while you may have stayed up to watch all the late games this season, you’re not guaranteed to fill out your bracket any better than Marge, the secretary in HR who still doesn’t realize that March Madness doesn’t refer to the wild and windy weather associated with the month.

Everyone in your office is going to fill out a bracket, no matter what their knowledge of college hoops is. It’s part of office life, like reading Facebook while pretending to work. So, while you’re grappling with how far you should have your 12-seed go in its Cinderella run, just remember these are the things you’re bound to hear as your co-workers debate the best way to fill out their brackets.

  • “No 16-seed has ever beaten a 1.”
  • “This is the year a 16-seed will beat a 1.”
  • “That coach always loses big games. He won’t go far.”
  • “That coach has lost so many big games. He’s due to go far.”
Mark Few
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  • “No team named the Jackrabbits is going far.”
  • “The Jackrabbits will go to the Final Four because that’s a great name.”
  • “They didn’t even win the conference tournament, so they’re not going to win it all.”
  • “They didn’t win the conference tournament, so they’re rested and ready to win it all.”
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  • “The East region is the toughest.”
  • “The Midwest region is the toughest.”
  • “The South region is the toughest.”
  • “The West region is the toughest.”
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  • “Pick them for the Sweet 16. Their first few games are close to home where everyone will be cheering for them.”
  • “Pick them for the Sweet 16. Their first few games are far from home where they can play under the radar.”
Northwestern, Wisconsin
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  • “Pick them, they’re loaded with freshmen.”
  • “Pick them, they’re loaded with seniors.”
  • “I love Duke.”
  • “I hate Duke.”
Mike Krzyzewski
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  • “They wear red? I can’t pick that them.”
  • “They wear blue? I can’t pick that team.”
  • “They wear red AND blue? I can totally pick that team.”
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