Charles Bramesco
‘An Inconvenient Sequel’ Trailer: Oh My God, We’re All Gonna Die Unless Someone Does Something
In 2006, environmental conservation advocate and former Presidential candidate Al Gore unveiled his documentary An Inconvenient Truth, a call to action regarding the urgent dangers of global warming. And that was that — viewers recognized the importance of preserving the planet, green technology completely supplanted carbon-emitting fossil fuels, and Earth got back on track towards a clean bill of health. Ha! No, the opposite is true, and we’re all going to get swallowed up by a great deluge sent by Mother Gaia. As our recently inducted Commander-in-Chief prepares to gut the EPA like a trout (and enjoy that analogy, because at this rate, our grandchildren will not know what a trout is), things are getting worse than ever, and it falls to Gore once again to remind us that we are literally killing ourselves.
Sate Your Hunger for the ‘War for the Planet of the Apes’ Trailer With a New Teaser
Five days ago, I denounced the banal evils of the recent trend of running trailers in promotion of trailers when covering the latest buzz for the upcoming Justice League movie. It would appear that the marketing executives at 20th Century Fox have not been reading my daily news writing (I know, I’m as shocked as you are), because they’ve returned today with an 18-second amuse-bouche for tomorrow’s brand new trailer for War for the Planet of the Apes. Give it a look above, it’ll only take a moment. Or, to be precise, 18 moments.
Dubstep and Children’s Choirs Collide in Final ‘Ghost in the Shell’ Trailer
The Americanized remake of anime classic Ghost in the Shell finally crashes into theaters this Friday, like a bodysuit-clad Scarlett Johansson bursting through a glass window, guns blazing. While Paramount has managed to delay advance reviews by cancelling many press screenings (which is, traditionally, a bad sign), that has done little to deter the fans’ many burning questions. What secrets are being hidden from Major Motoko Kusanagi, and by whom? What are the tactical advantages of clothes that appear to be made of shrink-wrap? Will the movie be racist, and if so, how racist is it going to be? Why is English trip-hop musician Tricky in the film? Truly, The Ghost in the Shell is rich with secrets.
Frances McDormand’s Got Some Choice Words in the ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri’ Trailer
Mildred Hayes has had it. It’s been weeks since her daughter was brutally raped and murdered, and the local police force in Ebbing, Missouri don’t have a single perp to show for all their efforts. Feeling disrespected and unheard, Mildred does the only thing an ordinary citizen at the end of their rope can do: she clarifies which cursewords you can put on a billboard and puts a message right where area sheriff Willoughby will see it. Them’s fightin’ words on her billboards, reading “RAPED WHILE DYING. STILL NO ARRESTS. HOW COME, CHIEF WILLOUGHBY?” And in the newly released red-band trailer begins a long, farcical, spiteful conflict between one-woman army MIldred and the local cops.
Let the Music Save Your Soul in the First Teaser Trailer for Pixar’s ‘Coco’
Pixar’s 2016 was something of a mixed bag, having landed a true-blue blockbuster with Finding Dory but then missing out on the coveted Oscar nomination. They’ll get back in the saddle in 2017 with Coco, a vibrant fantasy about the power of music, family, and remembrance of those lost to us. In the film, a lonely young boy finds a link to the past through an enchanted stringed instrument and sets off on an incredible journey with an animal companion, encountering all manner of dreamlike wonders (along with a monster or two) on the way. It bears mentioning at this point that this film is, in fact, not Kubo and the Two Strings.
Auto Parts Website Offers a ‘Back to the Future’ Flux Capacitor
As an avowed walker and train-taker, I’m not much of a car guy, personally. But I know a thing or two — I can change a flat tire, correctly identify where jumper cables should be clamped, and I know enough that anyone who offers to sell you a ‘flux capacitor’ is having a laugh at your expense. The auto part was imagineered (a make-believe word for ‘invented’ that the folks at Disney originally imagineered) for Back to the Future, the all-important component that gives Marty McFly‘s Delorean the power to traverse time. And now, you too can attempt to flaunt the laws of metaphysics by souping out your ride of choice (imagine how a silent, time-traveling Prius would freak out people in the ’50s) with your very own flux capacitor.
Brad Pitt Looks Like a Counter-Terrorism Ken Doll in ‘War Machine’ Trailer
Unless your name happens to be Kathryn Bigelow (and if it is, then may I say that it’s a pleasure, Ms. Bigelow, big Point Break fan), Hollywood has had a lot of trouble figuring out how to portray the Global War on Terror. The odd movies that have succeeded critically or financially — Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty, Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper — take an ambivalent stance on a complicated and nuanced geopolitical situation, but many more have attempted the same and floundered. So it’s with memories of the high-profile failure of one-time Oscar hopeful Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk that we greet the trailer for War Machine, Netflix’s latest foray into this risky genre.
Will Smith Assumes the First ‘Bright’ Teaser Won’t End Well
David Ayer, director of the newly-minted Academy Award-winner Suicide Squad (there’s a phrase I don't ever see my fingers getting comfortable with), has already begun work on his next film. Will the new project Bright also win an Academy Award like Suicide Squad did last night, which was real and not a dream we all had? We have no way of knowing, but it could happen. Evidently anything can happen, because Suicide Squad won an Academy Award last night. As in, one more award than Martin Scorsese’s career-defining religious epic Silence. So today, look upon the first teaser for Bright and bow before your new King of Oscars, for it is David Ayer.
Scarlett Johansson Won’t Be Controlled in Latest ‘Ghost in the Shell’ Trailer
The government is not to be trusted, not at present and certainly not in the trippy future Japan of Ghost in the Shell. Major Motoko Kusanagi (Scarlett Johansson) has been led to believe that she endured some manner of terrible accident in life, and the police department salvaged her body by augmenting it with cybernetic implants. In exchange for a second chance at consciousness, all she has to do is devote herself to fearlessly cleaning the street of crime and to surrender what’s left of her free will; naturally, she has some doubts about this. And when she meets an enigmatic stranger warning her that all is not what it seems, her whole understanding of who the bad guys are starts to shift.
Family Tensions Flare in Trailer for New Psychological Thriller ‘The Dinner’
Every family argues at the table. Some squabble about religion, some yell about politics, and some get into screaming matches at Thanksgiving dinner over whether or not Jimmy Fallon is a sniveling sycophant. But while all happy families are the same, all unhappy families are miserable in their own way, and the Lohman clan has an ocean’s worth of bad blood between them. It‘ll all come to the surface when Oren Moverman’s new drama-thriller The Dinner debuts at the Berlinale Film Festival on February 10, and today, those of us unable to jet to Europe can still check it out with the newly released trailer.
Wolverine Cracks a Gun in Half in ‘Logan’ Super Bowl TV Spot
Less than a month now separates us from the premiere of Logan, and the nationwide nerd conniptions that it’s sure to induce. Those of us down for a quick trip to Berlin could theoretically get an earlier look, but the rest of us will have to make do with the virtues of patience. At least 20th Century Fox has made it a little easier on the rest of us commoners by running a minutelong clip from the film during the Super Bowl last night, and teasing some typically smartmouthed repartee from the lovable mutant.
Wince Your Way Through the Trailer for Scuzzy Crime Flick ‘The Assignment’
Despite having seen legendary genre director Walter Hill’s latest feature at the Toronto International Film Festival back in September, I had completely forgotten that it exists until the first trailer surfaced earlier today. Perhaps this is because the film has now changed titles twice, going from the thoroughly problematic Tomboy to the still pretty problematic (Re)Assignment to the vague, slightly better The Assignment. Or perhaps this is because the movie is bad, bad, bad. Whether it’s the schadenfreude-fueled fun kind of bad or the soul-suckingly evil kind of bad, however, will vary from viewer to viewer.