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Miley Cyrus’ Twerk Will Be Topped, Dallas Cowboys Will Make the Playoffs + More – Dave Makes Predictions For 2014

Getty Images, Alexander Tamargo/Elsa

As we leave 2013 in the dust and look forward to another year of possibilities, there are some things that I believe are certain to happen. So, ripped from futuristic headlines, here are my incredibly bold predictions from the world of entertainment, sports, technology and politics.

Getty Images, Neilson Barnard
Getty Images, Neilson Barnard


A Pop Artist Will Do Something More Shocking Than Miley Cyrus’ Twerking

It’s kind of like falling for the same practical joke, over and over again



Just as Miley’s “controversial” behavior begins to bore us, another teenage entertainer will come along to remind us that the decline of western civilization continues, full speed ahead. While I can’t identify this person by name now, I suspect the new shocker will be younger, wear fewer clothes, and have strange parental issues.

I won’t comment on whether or not the Miley 2.0 will have any actual talent. That seems to be an afterthought these days. Case in point: The entire Kardashian family. And Paris Hilton.


Getty Images, Joe Robbins
Getty Images, Joe Robbins


The Dallas Cowboys Will Make the Playoffs

Possibly my most bold prediction of the year



After three straight seasons of heartbreaking letdown on the final day of the regular season, the Dallas Cowboys will finally break through and make the playoffs. Bank on it.

You can also bank on a first round loss in the playoffs. I’m bold, not stupid.



Getty Images, Andrew Burton
Getty Images, Andrew Burton


There Will Be a New iPhone, and it Won’t Be Much Different From the Old iPhone

It will be just special enough to make your old phone look silly



Somethings will never change. The sloth-like evolution of one of technology’s greatest creations is no exception.

Will the next generation of iPhone be slightly more curved? Will it be slightly larger or smaller? Will it talk to you in a variety of voices? Whatever the “upgrade”, the most life-changing aspect of the newest Apple smart phone will be the fact that you’ll need to buy new accessories to go with it…because your old ones won’t fit.


Getty Images, Ethan Miller
Getty Images, Ethan Miller


Donald Trump Will Run For Public Office

This one actually has fact to support my prediction!



Out of sheer boredom, and lack of anything else to accomplish in his life, Donald Trump will invest his fame and fortune in a run for public office. He poked his combed-over head into the 2012 presidential race, and may still be interested in making a serious run. Trump is also being mentioned as possibly taking a shot at becoming the next governor of New York. Heck, if former wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Arnold “The Terminator” Schwartzenegger can run a state, why not “The Donald”?

The only thing standing in the way of this prediction coming true? The pay cut Trump would have to take as a public servant.


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