The greatest threat to America's way of life is spreading.

We're talking, of course, about combining pizza with other food or drink choices that have no business being paired with pizza.

We cite as Exhibit A the mayonnaise pea pizza, the very thought of which turns our insides out. Now, someone has gone ahead and showed off a picture of a slice of pizza dunked into a glass of milk, going so far as to have the nerve to call it "a great combination."

Treating pizza as a chocolate chip cookie is an affront to all things pizza (and chocolate chip cookies, for that matter). Everyone has odd food combos -- maybe you like pickles with relish or pretzels with gravy or watermelon with ketchup -- but this one is toeing a very fine line. We take our pizza very seriously in this country and while experimentation is never a bad thing, there are just some things that will never go together. Consider this to be up there with La La Land winning Best Picture.

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